Sorry for the Silence

I haven't posted in a while, sorry. I decided to give up both on NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo at the same time.

Not that I've *really* given up on NaNoWriMo... just the principle of it. I'm here to write a novel, yes, and this got me jump-started, hurrah, but there's something that's just too too too neurotic about NaNoWriMo.

And I don't play well with others. I kept trying to stir things up in the forums and getting nothing back, which led to great frustration and the realization that the maxim "Everyone has a book in them" is really utter bullshit.

Maybe everyone *does* have a book in them. That doesn't mean they should necessarily write it.

But kudos to all WriMos for trying, including myself. Who knows if this book is any good or not. Who really cares.

I'm feeling a bit nihilist tonight. Winter is here and I've got my doldrums on.

There was snow the other day, just enough to make things pretty.

It's very cold in the apartment...

Thoughts at 2 a.m.

It's really fucking cold here tonight, yes, really fucking cold, below freezing even. Not cigarette weather at all. ::sigh:: I really have to quit.

I've got my insomnia on again, although I admittedly induced it by going to the 7-11 tonight for my 20 ounces of Obama. (Someday SpellCheck will recognize the word "Obama" and not underline it in red dots... Huh. It recognizes McCain. Odd.)

So other than screwing around with spell-check on Mozilla, what else am I doing? Well, principally I'm thinking about how lonely it is here now that I've alienated most of my old (former?) friends. Interesting to see my home town with eyes unencumbered by old alliances. But still very, very lonely.

So, I'm thinking about loneliness.

And then I start thinking about G., my ex, who lurks somewhere along the DC Beltway. Should I email him? I wonder. Or would that just be inviting Hell into my kitchen? I haven't heard from G. in close to four years, he may not even have the same email...

What's the policy on gratuitously starting shit up with ex-boyfriends? Do I get bad karma points for that?