Shameless Hussy

I went in pursuit of FunExBF. The other night I drove down to the outskirts of DC and arranged to meet him since he can't be bothered to make it up my way.

I know, it was little more than shameless for me to go after him like that. And might reflect upon my sometimes questionable judgment.

The truth is, FunExBF is just that: Fun. And it was great to see him and talk about all things.

It had been five years since I last saw him.

There was a bit of a liaison, I must admit.

I came home happy.

And now I miss him.

Sad.

Stood Up!

I was supposed to see FunExBF a few nights ago and he stood me up. Now, mind you, FunExBF is a bit of a flake, so I wasn't surprised or even angry, but I was disappointed. Majorly disappointed. I had gotten all dressed up in that way you do when you're about to see exbfs, and it was a pain in the ass to get all perfect like that.

He claims that he is sorry and will try to get up this way from Down South again tomorrow. We shall see.

Hmmm... this is the first glimmer of drama that I've had in a while. I'd better be careful!

Would that it would snow...

Today was very brisk and cold. As I drove from Salem to Hometown, I saw the clouds heavy, heavy, heavy with snow. I wanted to stop and take pictures of the watertower behind the vo-tech school because the dark clouds made the light blue of the tower stand out for perhaps the first time ever. I didn't even know the vo-tech had a water tower until today.

In other news, they ruled out the possibility that I have some sort of weirdness in my lungs by doing a CT Scan on me today at the hospital. Glad that I don't have a pulmonary embolism. Sux that I'm going to have a huge bill to pay. The medical system in this country is so fucked up. (Things to look forward to, Tiara, when you come back to the U.S.--horrible health care and tremendous bills for even the smallest things. I'm so sorry you're coming back to this Darwinian Mess of a Health Care System before we managed to figure out how to get everyone equal coverage under the law. Nonetheless, welcome back!!!)

Now, I just need to get my breathing under control. I've been really short of breath lately. I wonder if I have asthma?

Sorry for the rambly. Not feeling all that great these days.

2009! (Reflecting on 2008)

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?

I saw South Dakota. Very very grassy, beautiful. The Corn Palace is not to be fucked with.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I never, EVER make New Year's resolutions, and I'll tell you why, aside from the doomed-to-failure argument. It's that these things, these personal goals, should not be made PUBLIC. They are personal goals. Let them be yours and ponder them in your heart, and chances are, that way, silently, they will become real.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

A whole gaggle of my HS buddies gave birth to little 'uns recently, even one whose HS "Future Plans" statement was "NO BABIES". He now is the proud father of a little girl. Congrats!

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

I saw the great expanse of this fabulous country of ours, divided as it is.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

An apartment in a better part of town, more peeps to bounce my ideas off of, and a washer/dryer.

7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

The drive East back in June.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting started on the novel--finally!

9. What was your biggest failure?

Not finishing NaNoWriMo, and then slacking on my blog for several weeks. Not to mention all the reasons I came back to South Jersey. But I can't get into that right now.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I lost a lot of sleep. That's illness and injury.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

Holiday Winter Tea. MMMM!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

Me. For leaving. For being brave enough to return to the scene of the crime.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

Me. For leaving. For not sticking up for myself and making it work in San Liberal.

14. Where did most of your money go?

To toll roads, turnpikes, and bridges. Not to mention the oil companies. Criminy. I think my gas purchases totaled a new Lear jet for some corporate asshole.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The freakin' election! Jeez, I nearly had a seizure the night of.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

"Papa Knows" by Spigga.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?

a) in a permanent state of melancholy which implies both
b) fatter. Thanks, Denny's.
c) poorer. Thanks, Chevron.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Writing.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing about the election. I lost a lot of hair over that. But the situation seemed so dire... I think everyone was pretty invested.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

This year? Dunno. Probably with the 'rents, celebrating my colossal failures.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

Oh, the love question. I was in love for most of 2008. But I wasn't loved back. Part of the reason why I'm here. But that is a WHOLE DIFFERENT KETTLE OF FISH.

22. How many one-night stands?

None. Taking time off from Teh Sex.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

Old reruns of "Friends" and "Buffy" (but I haven't seen the last season of "Buffy" yet, so no spoilers!!!!)

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

Hate is such a strong word. But I think it's safe to say that I would happily wear an "I-Hate-Sarah-Palin" T-shirt to a High School Prom if I had to. Although, I had no idea who Sarah Palin was at this time last year so, does that count?

25. What was the best book you read?

"No Plot, No Problem" from Chris Baty, the NaNoWriMo guy.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

This year was a little low on the musical greatness scale. But I'm going to say 2raumwohnung, a German electronica-pop band that I really like.

27. What did you want and get?

I got to come home. 'Nuff said.

28. What did you want and not get?

I didn't get to stay in San Liberal. But that was a mixed bag anyway.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?

I don't go to movies, but I heard the Batman prequel was good.

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

This is a phishing question, and y'all know how old I am.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Finishing the goddamn novel. But hey, there's always time.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

Closeted. Wow, that word works on *so many* levels.

33. What kept you sane?

Writing.

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Oh, I was an Obamamama, for sure!!!

35. What political issue stirred you the most?

The whole kit and kaboodle.

36. Who did you miss?

My OldBF in San Liberal. God, didn't I miss him but a lot.

37. Who was the best new person you met?

Coming home is all about meeting people you used to know, and learning how to like them all over again. That hasn't happened yet.

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.

You can't go home again.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

Countin' the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike/They've all come to look for America.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, CHARLIE BROWN!!!!